Sam and Jeanine have been arguing. Sam wants his staff to be free to use the staff break room whenever they choose. Jeanine wants the break room to be free for her own use. Sam believes that if Jeanine gets her way, his interests will lose out. Of course, Jeanine believes the same. They become locked in conflict. The battle of their wills. Similar scenarios of conflict are not uncommon on the job. Little conflicts can often cause huge rifts that can take months to get cleared out and cleaned up. Worse yet, we simply avoid conflict until it gets so overwhelming that we can no longer ignore it.… Read more
To be aware of your unique qualities and develop them is your gift to the world. You don’t need a character transplant to be comfortable, connected or successful. What you need is to take advantage of who you already are and express your truth in your own way.
Martha Graham says, “There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action. And because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it.”… Read more
Coaching emerged as a way to provide support and guidance for individuals moving through a change process toward greater effectiveness and fulfillment. Coaching is part of the cultural shift from a pathology worldview to a resourceful worldview. In the pathology worldview, problems are identified, evaluated, and solutions are implemented, usually by outside experts. In contrast, coaches work with people from a resourceful point of view—collaborating to explore opportunities and identify resources to create an exciting future based on awareness, choice and action. Coaching is world-changing, as well as life-changing work.
Although coaching is a fast-growing profession, many people confuse coaching with giving people advice.… Read more
The New Year is the traditional time to make commitments. The trouble is we tend to abandon them a week later. Yes, commitments can be scary. We equate the word “committed” with being put behind bars in a mental institution or being boxed in by an organization or a relationship that no longer serves us. We’re afraid of being bound by commitments that no longer fulfill us.
One reason we don’t honor our commitments is because our goals aren’t energizing. Many of us say, “I really should lose weight,” or “I have to reduce my debt.” We get caught up in “shoulds” and “have tos” instead of choosing goals that truly matter – ones we are passionate about.… Read more
We create sacred coaching relationships that take people to the core of their being. These relationships form the foundation for their discovery of who they are, what they want and how they want to contribute to the world.
Coaching for Transformation is a dynamic process, where we bring our full curiosity, compassion and courage to the coaching relationship. Yet our primary focus is on the person being coached. Whatever clients bring, whether a question, a dream or a desire, we support them to move into awareness, alignment and action.
The Coaching for Transformation Model
The coach cultivates uncompromising presence by bringing these three qualities to every coaching session:
Curiosity—the opposite of judgment, curiosity invites us to accept all that is and explore the unknown.… Read more
You can think of the kind of transformation described here as drawing new water out of your old well—by going deeper than you ever dipped before. The way to get your bucket deeper into your well is by taking on powerful questions, instead of jumping at attractive-looking answers. —John Scherer
Humans have the potential and deep desire to learn, grow and evolve. Transformation is a process of profound and radical change that arises from deep awareness and leads to fresh orientation and new direction. Transformation honors what is, while reaching deep within us to find what is emerging—the birthing of something brand new.… Read more
I am super shy, so I was nervous about Damon coaching me with 30 people watching, but my relationship with Damon spans some years. We’re both social justice organizers and we really connect as fathers of sons who had some health challenges. My middle son passed away from brain cancer. We’ve had some profound conversations about our sons. As black men, we know our children are in danger. They are here today and can be gone tomorrow.
Already connected, we started the coaching session by jumping into a deep intimate issue around being a father, being a black man and what that means.… Read more
Connection comes first. Nothing happens without connection. Fierce love and unconditional support build trust and a flourishing relationship. The coach and client share power equally. This relationship is a space for experimentation, alchemy and human evolution. In every moment, transformation is possible for both the client and the coach. In the space of deep connection, intuition blossoms for both the client and the coach.
The Three Levels of Coaching
At Leadership that Works, we support three levels of coaching:
Level One coaching supports transformation at the personal level.
- Creating a healthy relationship with self
- Honoring internal wisdom and trusting intuition
- Moving from awareness to alignment to action
Level Two coaching supports transformation at both the personal and the interpersonal level.… Read more
Allow your work and your recreation to be one and the same… Serve others and cultivate yourself simultaneously… Understand that true growth comes from meeting and Solving the problems of life in a way that is Harmonizing to yourself and to others. —Lao Tzu
What are the ways we care for our mind, body and soul? How much meaning, inspiration and purpose do we want in our lives? How regularly do we exercise and take time for spiritual practices? How does diet support our optimal functioning?
Using a journal to reflect on our own self-care, we can ask:
How is our energy level?… Read more
Approval and disapproval: Instead of sharing your evaluation, reflect what matters.
Comparing yourself: Instead of thinking about who is smarter or how your experience is different, or what you would have done, stay focused on the uniqueness of your client’s experience.
Evaluating or analyzing: Instead of interpreting or psychoanalyzing, reflect the content or the emotions and needs.
Ignoring nonverbal cues: Listen to the essence of the content, but also name the body language, tone of voice, rate of speech and energetic cues.
Jargon: If you notice you’re using words and phrases that your client wouldn’t use in a casual conversation, that’s a sign you’re using jargon.… Read more