There’s no denying it, unconscious bias is trendy. It’s so trendy, it’s even become an acronym in some of my circles, known affectionately as “UB.” But as often occurs when a term or concept becomes common or mainstream, myths and misinformation abound: Myth 1: We don’t need to worry anymore about conscious bias or bigotry. We are not “post-racial.” Individual acts of verbal, physical and emotional violence against people due to their real or perceived group membership are still relatively common. One of my least favorite statistics is that the number of active hate groups in the U.S. has increased by 56 percent — to over 900 — since 2000, particularly since President Obama took office in 2008.
Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us. — Marianne Williamson
Privilege has been described as “unearned rights, benefits, immunity and favours that are bestowed on individuals and groups solely on the basis of their race, culture, religion, gender, sexual orientation, physical ability or other key characteristic.”1… Read more
Mary, a woman in her late 30’s, came to coaching with the goal of mastering the ups and downs, the powerful inner currents, that seemed to sweep over her and gain control of her thoughts, feelings and actions. Over the course of our work together, we came to know these inner currents as inner parts, or personalities. There was a crippled school girl, a hard-nosed sergeant, a Buddha, a highly charged wild part, a lusty irresponsible sexual part, among many others. Mary dialogued with each of these parts as they presented themselves and got to know how they hijacked her and what they needed.
“Bringing IFS into coaching is one of the most exciting and needed applications taking place right now.” – Richard Schwartz, creator of Internal Family Systems
The problem with many coaching models is that coaches are taught to sideline, or even eliminate parts of the psyche, especially if those parts are blocking or resisting progress toward your goals.
Since parts cannot be eliminated, this type of shaming leaves clients conflicted as they struggle to transform unwanted behaviors. Instead of going to war with your saboteur or marginalizing resistant parts, IFS coaching respects each part and supports whole system alignment so that desired change initiatives and radical authenticity emerge.… Read more
The main difference between a request and a challenge is that clients generally say yes to our requests, but take a moment to catch their breath before responding to a challenge. In both cases, we listen deeply to what’s important to the client, and base our requests on helping them move toward a more desirable future. Free of demand, we ask clients to take action, but we’re open to hearing yes, no, or a counteroffer.
Both requests and challenges are for the benefit of the client, not for the benefit of the coach. In the wider world, we make requests that benefit ourselves all the time.… Read more
Is your life driven by reacting to circumstances and putting out fires, or is it driven by what really matters to you? Do you have a vague sense that there could be more to life or that you could be more excited about what you do?
Every day Bob’s boss asks him to fix another mess, knowing that he will do it well and quickly. He is valued for the service he performs for the company. Yet Bob is miserable and feels lost and unenthusiastic at work. What he really wants to do is the work he was hired to do – write new software programs, work on the edge of innovation, and see that what he creates makes a difference in the efficiency of their customers’ businesses.… Read more
Couples coaching is no picnic. After infidelity, the most common reasons that couples seek coaching are conflicts about money, communication, and sex. Major life events such as getting married, having a child, moving to a new home, or starting a new job, are also major reasons that couples seek coaching.
How many couples come to coaching to tune up their marriage, revisit their vision, or celebrate their partnership? It’s rare. You start working with a coach because you’re in trouble. If you could fix your relationship yourselves, you would have done so already. Nonviolent communication for couples helps you deepen intimacy, build trust and cultivate radical compassion.… Read more
Early retirements, down-sizing and short-term maximization of profits have dire side effects – there aren’t enough middle managers in the wings ready to take the lead. Many companies who face the decision of whether to “make or buy” their next generation of leaders, are finding that there aren’t a lot of ready-made leaders on the market at any price.
According to a McKinsey study, the war for top talent will be fierce, affecting companies and industries new and old. The time for action is now—before top leaders have retired or been recruited away.
Without succession planning, production suffers because key positions take too long to fill, and high-potential candidates often leave the organization.… Read more