A few years ago, I was working with a client who, on paper, had it all.
She was stunningly beautiful, razor-sharp intelligent, and deeply successful in her work. And yet, session after session, one theme kept returning.
โ๐ช๐ต๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ ๐ ๐ฎ๐น๐๐ฎ๐๐ ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ฝ ๐๐ถ๐๐ต ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฑ ๐บ๐ฒ๐ป?โ
She noticed a painful pattern. The men she met were initially kind, attentive, charming. But once she became emotionally and physically intimate, something shifted. The respect eroded. Control crept in. Sometimes abuse followed.
It took her years to leave a bad relationship โ only to find herself, heartbreakingly, in another one that looked eerily similar. She said her love life seemed to be really cursed.
One day, half-laughing and half-despairing, she said to me:
โ๐ ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐๐ก. ๐ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐๐๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ฆ๐๐ง ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ฌ. ๐๐ก๐ฒ ๐๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฌ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ง ๐๐ก๐๐ง๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐ ๐๐ญ ๐ฆ๐?โ
As I kept looking at her, she asked me what I was thinking.
I said: โ๐ ๐๐จ๐งโ๐ญ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฌ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ง ๐๐ก๐๐ง๐ ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ง๐๐๐ซ ๐ข๐ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐๐ก๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ง ๐ข๐ง๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ก๐๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐ง ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐๐ญ๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฆ๐๐ง. โ
โWhat do you mean?โ She retorted.
I invited her to look at the possibility that what appeared to be a curse might actually be a life script in action. Through Transactional Analysis, we began to trace the deeper messages shaping her choices. An abusive father she kept hoping to change. A childโs unconscious belief that ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐ ๐๐ง๐๐ฎ๐ซ๐๐. And a powerful injunction she had absorbed from her mother: โDonโt think.โ
Donโt question. Donโt trust your clarity. Donโt leave too soon.
When these script messages came into awareness, something shifted โ not overnight, but steadily. She stopped blaming herself. She began recognising red flags earlier. And most importantly, she starteted listening to her intuition and making new choices that were rooted in the here and now, rather than repeating her childhood patterns in the hope of repairing the past.
This is the quiet, transformative power of Transactional Analysis. TA doesnโt pathologise you. It helps you understand yourself โ and then choose differently.
If this story resonated, youโre already closer to this work than you think.
If youโre a therapist, coach, educator, or simply someone curious about why intelligent, capable people repeat painful patterns โ this is the work we do in TA 101.
I welcome you all to join ๐๐ง๐ฅ๐๐๐ฌ๐ก ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐จ๐ฐ๐๐ซ – ๐๐ง ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐๐ฎ๐๐ญ๐จ๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ ๐๐๐ฒ ๐๐๐ซ๐ญ๐ข๐๐ข๐๐๐ญ๐ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฆ ๐จ๐ง ๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ฌ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ ๐๐ง๐๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐๐. This program is happening in the suburbs of Mumbai on 14th and 15th March. The details are provided in the attached flyer.
