In a recent group, I noticed how the presence of one strong voice gradually shaped the whole room. He spoke often, offered blunt observations, and made critical comments in the name of honesty. Nothing about it was inherently wrong or malicious. Yet over time, the groupโs attention, energy, and emotional labour began to organise around him.
๐ช๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐บ๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐๐ถ๐ฏ๐น๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ป๐ผ๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ต๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐๐ฟ, ๐ฏ๐๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ด๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ฝโ๐ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐๐ฝ๐ผ๐ป๐๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐ถ๐.
People found themselves responding in different ways:
* some felt irritated or hurt
* some felt cautious or intimidated
* some admired his confidence
* some explained him, defended him, or softened the impact of his words
Without anyone intending it, the group began to revolve around this one energy.
๐ก๐ฎ๐บ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฝ๐ฟ๐ผ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐๐
I paused the group and named what I was noticing โ not to analyse him, but to look at ๐ต๐ผ๐ ๐ฝ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐น๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐ฎ๐น๐น๐. I invited everyone to notice what they do internally in the presence of strong or dominant energy.
I proposed two acronyms for the patterns that I saw were emerging:
๐ฅ๐๐ โ ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐๐ฐ๐๐ฒ, ๐๐บ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐๐ต๐ถ๐๐ฒ, ๐๐ด๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฒ: aligning with power to stay safe or connected
๐๐ข๐ โ ๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐น๐ถ๐ด๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป, ๐๐๐ถ๐น๐: the fog that narrows choice and makes reactions automatic
๐ช๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ
As we explored this, the focus moved away from him and toward ourselves. People recognised how they align with authority even when something feels off, how admiration can override discomfort, and how fear often turns into silence while anger remains unspoken.
What became visible was not a โproblem person,โ but a shared relational field in which power was shaping behaviour in different ways.
๐ช๐ต๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐บ๐ฎ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐
Power did not disappear, and no one needed to be fixed. ๐ช๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฒ๐๐, ๐ป๐ผ๐ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ป๐๐ฟ๐ผ๐น. When people can see how they organise themselves around power โ through compliance, caretaking, withdrawal, or alignment โ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ด๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป ๐ฐ๐ต๐ผ๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฒ. And that choice is what allows groups to become more honest and alive.
๐๐ป๐๐ถ๐๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป
There is currently a vacancy in my ๐๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ธ๐น๐ ๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ด๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ฝ (๐ญ๐ญ๐ฎ๐บโ๐ญ๐ฝ๐บ ๐๐ง). If you are curious about your relationship with power โ how you respond to it, accommodate it, resist it, or align with it โ this group may be a meaningful space to explore that work.
For details, check out https://lnkd.in/g26xeEVW
