𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗠𝗼𝘃𝗲𝘀!!!

Aryan, a young male participant, had recently joined my process group. In the very first session, he challenged the group’s emotional depth — naming his disappointment with how things were going.

What followed was subtle, but significant: Over time, the group began orbiting around him. People started checking in with his reactions before speaking. His approval became quietly necessary.

Meanwhile, Rajiv — an elderly member, soft-spoken and deeply empathic — often struggled to find space in the group. One day, he shared:
“I feel invisible. Like my attempts to connect aren’t landing.”

While women responded with care, Aryan snapped:
“When will you man up, Rajiv? I’m fed up with your victim game. And I don’t get why the women here keep mothering you. Several men nodded. Rajiv froze.

I paused the group and reflected: “Aryan, I notice a pattern. You often bring anger toward Rajiv — I am cognisant of the fact that Rajiv receives a lot of admiration from the women members in the room whereas you have been at the receiving end of lot of heat from them. I wonder if some part of you feels threatened by the kind of intimacy he evokes as a man?

Silence. Then Aryan said, quietly: “Hell yes, I am damn jealous of Rajiv – I take all the risks and he gets all the love!”

What just happened? A power move — disguised as truth-telling.
Not about control in the traditional sense, but about reasserting place, worth, and identity. Power moves are often unconscious. But they shape the room — who speaks, who withdraws, and who gets centered.

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗮 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲? Here are some clear cues to look for:
▪ The emotional field suddenly shifts: Does the group fall silent, change direction, or become cautious after someone speaks?
▪ Others start deferring – explicitly or subtly: Are people checking in with a certain person before they speak? Who has become the group’s emotional thermostat?
▪ Disproportionate emotional tone: Is there sarcasm, anger, or “rational critique” that shuts down vulnerability?
▪ Someone becomes more visible — while someone else disappears: Who got centered, and who got erased in the moment?

As a psychotherapist, here are 𝟱 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗲𝘀 that I rely on in group work to navigate power moves:
1. Slow down the moment.
Power moves often happen fast and shift group energy subtly. Pause. Breathe. Say what you’re sensing.
2. Reflect the impact, not the intention.
“I noticed the energy shifted after that — I’m curious what others experienced.”
3. Track recurring dynamics.
If the same person is consistently the target of critique, interruptions, or invalidation, bring that pattern to light.
4. Separate content from charge.
Even if someone’s feedback is valid, the emotional charge behind it may still carry domination or dismissal. Unpack both.
5. Create safety for emotional honesty.
Invite the unspoken: “Is there something you’re wanting in this moment that’s hard to name?”