𝗛𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗜𝘁 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗬𝗲𝘁 𝗗𝗶𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗘𝘅𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗦𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗻-𝗨𝗽

Born in a Gujarati family, I grew up with a deeply ingrained belief that anger should always be subdued and emotions tempered by endless empathy. As a child, I witnessed my mother holding back her truth, waiting patiently for others to be ready to listen before she ever dared to speak her mind. I remember getting really angry with my mother for tolerating domineering behavior of the men in the household. I would often tell her – “I am never going to be like you – I will always stand up for my rights and speak my mind. I never realized that beneath my adolescent bravado, my mind was quietly absorbing a cultural lesson: 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻, 𝗺𝘆 𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗯𝗹𝗼𝘄—𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗳 𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗺𝗺𝗮:

As a group therapist, I encountered a defining moment when George, a group member, expressed his anger in a raw, unfiltered way. His outburst shattered the safe space I had so carefully constructed and sent me spiraling into a disorienting dilemma. In that intense moment, the very foundation of my approach was shaken, and I suddenly recognized that I was slipping into a nurturing, almost maternal role—the same role I had absorbed in my youth. The shock of that moment forced me to confront a painful truth: deep down 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗮𝗺𝗯𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗶𝗱 𝗳𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗜’𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗽. Instead of stepping into my power, I reverted to old patterns, prioritizing others’ feelings over my own truth. This jolt served as a catalyst for a profound internal shift, compelling me to question and ultimately reframe the cultural scripts that had long dictated my responses.

𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺 – This experience forced me to question:

How often do we let cultural conditioning define the way we lead and connect?
How many times have we sacrificed our authenticity and strength by adhering to inherited beliefs about how we should behave?

I invite you to reflect on your own journey. Have you noticed ways in which your cultural scripting might be limiting your potential—whether in your professional life, personal relationships, or both? What beliefs, once formed in childhood, are you still carrying into your adulthood, and how might they be holding you back?

-Written By Anisha Pandya