Once you realize that a part is calling for attention or blocking your progress, you need to find the right one so that you can talk to it. It is crowded in your psyche; just calling for any part is like shouting “Hey, you!” at a party. You’ll probably get a response, but not necessarily from the one you want. So, how do you identify and call the part you’re looking for?
The simplest way to invite a part into a dialogue is to ask for it by name:
“I want to talk to my Protector (or Critic, Perfectionist, Pleaser, Skeptic, etc.)”
This often works with the major players in your psyche, the parts that run your life on a daily basis. It also works for parts that you have engaged in the past, when you and the part have agreed on a name for it.
You can ask for a part that does something specific:
“I want to talk to the part that distracts me.”
“I want to speak to the part that objects to me finding a life partner.”
“I want to speak to the part that likes to socialize in large groups.”
“I want to speak to the part that knows how to organize projects.”
EMOTION OR BODY SENSATION
You can also call a part forth by emotion or body sensation: “I want to talk to the sadness.” “I want to talk to the part that is feeling angry.”
“I want to talk to the pain in my low back.” “I want to talk to the part that is creating the headache.”
And, finally, you can invite a part forward by what it believes:
“I want to talk to the part that believes expressing power is dangerous.”
“I want to talk to the part that believes I am unworthy of love.”
“I want to talk to the part that believes living my purpose is bad for me.”
You don’t have to have a name for a part to talk to it; you just need a simple way to differentiate it from other parts. You can use these same categories to identify your client’s parts.
Written by Guthrie Sayen
Excerpt from Coaching for Transformation by Lasley, Kellogg, Michaels and Brown.
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