Originally published in Coaching for Transformation
Sometimes we refer to parts as energies. In seeking the gift that each part brings, we put our attention on their energy, which can reveal their underlying purpose. Even if a part is frustrated, angry or hurt, underneath is the life force. When we feel the core of the anger or pain, we fully accept the emotions and create space for the fullness of their expression.
At the center of longing is pure energy. Connect with that pure energy and the heavens open. Just sitting with the pure energy of a part can be a deeply satisfying, mystical experience.
By inviting parts to go inside to sense their deepest yearning, we help them detach from their habitual beliefs and feelings and connect with the life energy as it flows within. This can be a moving experience as parts connect with something beautiful or divine. Th e shift away from lack and toward fulfillment can be a pivot point. Giving a part space to meditate on its longing for respect (for example), the longing dissolves into actual respect—respect for self, respect for the moment, respect for what is, respect for what’s emerging. As the part imagines having deep respect, (which is not the same as how they think the need for respect should be met), they tune into the energy and move toward a state of bliss.
The energy that flows through us is sacred. Connecting with the beautiful, wild, powerful energy of life offers us a place of respite and peace. When we slow down and connect with the ecstatic flow of life, we get in touch with the longing and embody it. We experience the longing in a deeply fulfilling way, in our bodies, in our emotions and in our very being. Oftentimes, parts come to realize that they already have exactly what they need.
Connecting with the Part’s Energy or Life Force Example
Coach: Speak Up, you’ve found a place to stand that feels comfortable to you?
Lara (Speak Up): Yes, and I’m ready to talk!
Coach: I hear you…
Lara (Speak Up): You know what angers me the most? It’s the people at the top giving themselves millions of dollars in bonuses while the hourly workers have to go out and get a second job just to pay the rent.
Coach: because you want to live in a world where…
Lara (Speak Up): …people care about all people, not just themselves. I want a world where people who have power use it to benefit the entire community, not just a few individuals. How many houses and boats and vacations does anyone really need?
Coach: I’m sensing more anger about something else… what’s that?
Lara (Speak Up): I’m angry at Lara for not taking a stand. She cares more about her own little comfortable world than she cares about making a difference for others.
Coach: I’m hearing how much you want to contribute, to help Lara to make a difference. Your energy is vibrant and comes from a place of anger and love.
Lara (Speak Up): I’m a fighter!
Coach: Yes, and you fight because you long for a more caring world. What happens if you imagine living in a world where people care deeply for one another?
Lara (Speak Up): I get a little tearful…
Coach: And what do those tears want?
Lara (Speak Up): Integrity for Lara. Congruence between what she says and what she does.
Coach: So imagine she has that…integrity, congruence…
Lara (Speak Up): I can relax… appreciate Lara… support her more fully.
Coach: Before you go into supporting her more fully, just stay in that energy of your longing, allowing it to nourish you. Each breath fills you with more caring, more integrity, more alignment.
Lara (Speak Up): That feels wonderful.
Coach: Staying with your caring energy, what do you want Lara to know?
Lara (Speak Up): She can take her longing for caring with her wherever she goes. That will make it easy for her to speak up about injustice.
Coach: Ah, I can see how that connection to her caring is very nourishing. Are you ready to return to the Self?
Lara (Self): That was precious. I am much more connected to my energy, my desire to create a caring world, and from here, it’s easy for me to speak up. At the same time, I can still take care of myself. I have much more hope about being able to make a difference.
Coach: Staying connected to your life force, how will you make a difference?
Lara: First I want to spend time with myself, just appreciating this internal shift. Then I’m going to have several conversations with people at work and find allies who want all people to make a living wage. Then we can create a plan to work with the decision-makers.
Coach: Let’s take a moment to celebrate the alignment of your parts, and how that activates you.
Lara: I’m glowing…
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