Transforming Distress into Light

A practice that deepens awareness is transforming distress into light, a way to harness the energy of distress in life-serving ways. This process is adapted from the work of many practitioners, including: Marshall Rosenberg, Susan Skye, Robert Gonzales and Meganwind Eoyang.

The transformation of internal distress into light is the psychological alchemy of turning base metal into gold. Holding the light of awareness intently on an internal emotional state alters the frequency of the energy and completely transforms the initial emotion. As we mourn, we touch the sadness of the unmet need, but if we stay with it, we touch the beauty of the need as it lives in us.… Read more

Ways to Use Values

The following are some ways to explore values:

Create a blueprint for making decisions. Ask, “If you say yes to this project, which of your values will you honor? Which will you ignore?” “How does saying yes honor more values?” “How might honoring your values by engaging in this project impact your life?”

Remind them what is important. Their values list can serve as a powerful reminder to pull them back to their center. Connecting with the value as a felt sense or associating a value with a metaphor activates the right or creative side of the brain. Remembering the value impacts their body, emotions and soul, as well as their thoughts.… Read more

Values Clarification: Values List

Clarifying values is one of the primary ways of awakening inherent resourcefulness and wisdom that activates deep levels of creativity. We are fully capable of much more than we can imagine at any moment. When we pay attention to the still small voice within, to the experiences that have shaped us, and to what we love, our values become clearer.

Asking clarifying questions

Look at snapshots of when your life was really sweet—times when you were fully honoring what was most important to you. What made it sweet?

Recall the challenging times in your life. What were the lessons learned?

Tell me a song that you love, or a movie.… Read more

Using the Body’s Wisdom Coaching Example

Coach: What’s happening?

Anushka: I am feeling very restless.

Coach: What is this restlessness telling you?

Anushka: I don’t know… I wish I knew.

Coach: Where in your body do you feel this restlessness?

Anushka: In my hands…in my feet…

Coach: You shook your hands like you were shaking off something.

Anushka: Yes, it’s this frustration that I am trying to shake off.

Coach: Where do you feel the frustration the most?

Anushka: Around my chest…it’s caging me…it’s like a tight ball

Coach: What’s its texture… its colour?

Anushka: …It’s black … a ball made up of endless string. It’s tying itself up… (silence)

Coach: You spoke much slower than you did a minute ago… What’s happening?… Read more

Prioritizing Values

As an exercise, we ask clients to prioritize their top seven values and how much they are honoring them on a scale of 1 to 10. Then we ask some of the following questions:

What is a time when you honored the value fully?

What is the barrier or obstacle that keeps you from honoring the value now?On a scale of 1 to 10, how strong is the barrier?

What are you learning from identifying the barrier, and how might those lessons help you fulfill the values you want to honor?

What needs to happen for each value to become a “10”?… Read more

Process Work

Process work is very closely aligned with Experiencing the Moment. This branch of psychology originated in the 1970’s with the work of Arthur Mindell, a Jungian analyst. “Mindell discovered that the dreaming process went far beyond our nighttime dreams and could be seen in physical symptoms, relationship difficulties, addictions, extreme states of consciousness and social tensions. All of these dreamlike processes—when approached with curiosity and respect, can lead to new insight and an energetic shift that is vital for our personal development and the evolution of our collective bodies.”1

Process work involves holding immense curiosity about everything the client is saying.… Read more

Wisdom of the Body

The body is an opening, a way to union even though we may perceive it to be an enclosure, a little fortress with some awareness inside. The body is a passageway, an entry into a cathedral. It is the door to spaciousness. When we become aware of the body in this way, we begin to experience life differently and might even feel the presence of invisible forces, wisdom bearers that can give strength, compassion and understanding to us in our everyday affairs. — Stephen Schwartz

We can use our body as a fortress or as a cathedral—protecting ourselves from the possibility of pain or danger, or opening ourselves to the beauty and wisdom in every cell.… Read more

Values and Needs

Sharmila was a senior marketing manager in a multinational company. Smart, with excellent analytical skills, she was on a fast track for a promotion but something was holding her back. When she received feedback that she needed to be more assertive and speak up during meetings, Sharmila wanted to be coached on her communication skills.

Over the course of coaching, Sharmila connected to her values of respect and need for acceptance. Growing up as a girl in a large family in India, she was taught not to express herself or voice her opinions in front of elders, especially males. She had an older brother who she looked up to, who was given more attention and respect by the family.… Read more

Trauma-Informed Coaching: It all Started with What’s Okay

One of the things that scared me the most when starting my coaching journey was bringing up too much emotion in my youth clients (it wasn’t the same with my adult clients). I found this to be a very interesting twist because prior to coaching, a large part of my work had been with foster youth who frequently had huge emotional outbursts that I was responsible for supporting. My initial response was to act as a protector and keep it nice and light by staying in the play space. I felt that I was more in control as a coach and could ensure that the youth would be safe and avoid emotional rollercoasters.… Read more

The Internal Community

Similar to the way we interact with our community or family, friends and the world, we also interact with an internal community. The internal community is that group of internal parts of the psyche that direct our lives. Each part has an important purpose, without exception. Our role as coaches is to help clients learn to embrace their parts, exactly as they are. Even when a part behaves harshly, we look beneath the words or vicious behavior to understand its positive intent. If we appreciate each part’s attempt to contribute, honor the important role the part is playing and thank it for its years of service, the part feels seen, heard and understood.… Read more