Category Archives: Uncategorized

A great meeting ended on a sour note. When the meeting leader asked a quiet participant if he had anything to say, he took a sniper’s stance and answered, “I think we’ve wasted enough time already”. He laughed, but he didn’t seem to notice that the energy was sucked out of the room like the air going out of a balloon.

As he was going out the door, he took another cheap shot about the donuts being the best part of the meeting. I wanted to take him aside and ask him to think about how he could make his comments more constructive, but I began listing all the reasons why I shouldn’t:

• This is a small thing.

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Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” The same is true about accepting parts. Instead of admonishing or fighting against an internal oppressor, if we simply witness and accept the oppressors’ beliefs and emotions, we move closer to a mindful state that helps parts relax.

If we’re part of a marginalized group and we experience prejudice, we often internalize oppression over time. Consciously or unconsciously, a part of us believes in the stereotypes and holds an oppressive view toward our identity group, whether we’re a person of color, a woman, LGBTQQ, working class or survivors of other social constructs.… Read more

All the things that truly matter—beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace—arise from beyond the mind. —Eckhart Tolle

Experiencing the Moment differs from every other coaching pathway, because we do not take the client anywhere, except into their present moment experience. We help the client embrace, embody and include every part of what is happening in the moment. We focus on the present with no desire to fix or move the client toward any outcome or attitude.

The process allows people to claim, experience and integrate parts of themselves that they may have pushed away, denied or avoided. When we do this, we experience a transformation.… Read more

One of the ways clients can continue to work with parts is to ask them to practice Active Imagination as homework. Active Imagination is a Jungian technique developed to help people interpret their dreams. Like writing a play, we write a script, speaking with a part that appeared in our dream or in our psyche. In writing, we ask the part why it has appeared now. Then, imagining we are the part, we include the part’s response in the script, and continue the dialog by asking curious questions such as: What is your role? What do you do? What do you want?… Read more

What exactly is charisma? Charisma is that magnetic and magical quality that attracts you to another. Charisma is that characteristic that has us follow a particular politician without honestly knowing what they stand for or what their track record has been. Charisma is that irresistible attraction for a particular actor or model, when looks alone wouldn’t turn your head otherwise.

Charisma is what has followers from around the world follow certain religious leaders. Charisma is what business leaders who build empires rely on – their ability to inspire others. You can find charismatic qualities in thousands of people. At Leadership that Works, we think personal charisma is a positive, powerful force that anyone can develop.… Read more

A big part of the work a coach does is attuning to what the client brings—our presenting and underlying issues, our overall “energy,” our conditioning, our mind habits, our relationship, and our speech patterns. While engaging in this kind of ongoing “attunement” as a constant presence with our clients and an awareness about what is alive in them right now, there are traps we can easily fall into without noticing it. This is especially true for our cultural conditioning through language. We all have language. It is a filter, a modus operandi that is so close to us, and so “natural” that most of the time we are not even aware of language as a filter through which we see the world.

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Ablism: Discrimination based on a person’s ability, coupled with a belief in the inherent superiority of those who do not have a permanent disability.

Acculturation: A socialization process in which groups of individuals come in continuous and direct contact with each other, resulting in changes in the cultural patterns of either or both groups. In principle, acculturation is a neutral term, but in practice, changes tend to occur less in the dominant culture.⁴

Ally: Someone who recognizes the unearned privilege they receive by being a member of a dominant group, and takes responsibility to bring change to such injustice.… Read more

One realm (spirit)…turns upward toward the light, …helps us to disidentify from the commotion of the strategic mind so we can reclaim the inner quiet, peace and wholeness of our true nature. It is about cultivating the blissful experience of being fully present in the moment and one with all creation.

The other realm (soul) leads not upward toward God but downward toward the dark center of our individual selves and into the fruitful experience of nature…it shows us where and how to make our stand. On this half of the spiritual journey, we do not rise toward heaven but fall toward the center of our longing.… Read more

At the center of the psyche is the Self, which is compassionate and wise. The Self integrates the work of the parts as they help us to cope, deal with difficulties or protect us from pain. Th e Self is not a part; it acts as a witness or a conductor who becomes increasingly aware of parts and can bring all parts into alignment. The Self sits in the seat of benevolent sovereignty. When the coach helps the client separate parts from the Self, and listens to each, it creates opportunities for choice that benefit the whole system.

According to Schwartz, the Self is the natural leader of the psyche, and different from all the parts.… Read more

Jim Rough developed a transformational approach to wrestle with complex issues which he calls Dynamic Facilitation. A major advantage of this approach is working with participants “as they are.” They don’t have to learn a special language or abide by elaborate ground rules. As facilitators, we create the container for transformation, by taking an active role without being directive. We do this by encouraging people to speak their truth openly while still providing safety for everyone.

By ensuring that participants feel completely understood, they can focus their attention on listening to others. Unlike many styles of facilitation, in this approach we start by asking for solutions.… Read more